This past week I travelled to the Augusta National Golf Club and watched the world’s best golfers. The golf was incredible. The course was stunning. But my favorite moment came when I realized that golfers embody one of the core secrets to great relationships. If we play at relationships the way they play golf (and we can!), then we, too, can quickly become masters.

What is their secret? 

Masters at golf accept mistakes as a chance to learn, then let go of their frustration so that so that they can execute well on the next shot.

So how do we become masters of relationships?

First, just as masters of golf expect to make mistakes, masters of relationship know that there is going to be conflict. Relationship expert John Gottman has shown that all relationships (even the great ones) have conflict. Experts Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt call relationship conflict “growth trying to happen.” However, while the masters of relationship see conflict as an opportunity to learn and grow, disasters of relationship wrongly think that conflict should never happen to them. Therefore, they resist the opportunity to learn how to love better.

Second, just as masters of golf learn to let go of their frustration after a mistake so that they can succeed on their next shot, masters of relationship know how to let go of their frustration so that they can positively work to repair the relationship. Disasters in relationship, on the other hand, hold on to regrets and resentments (rather than letting go), and stay chronically unhappy. This makes any attempts to repair the relationship doomed to failure.

Jordan Spieth gave us a fabulous picture of why he is a true master of golf on Sunday. Everyone knows that he made two mistakes on the 12^th hole, sending successive shots into the water, costing him 4 shots and the lead. How did he respond? He saw this as an opportunity to learn, then let it go and focused on the next shot. When he stood over his tee shot on the 13^th hole, he stayed in the present moment and focused on the ball in front of him, not the two in the water from the previous hole. In fact, he crushed his drive and birdied two of the next three holes, getting two of the four shots back. He came in second place and took home $880,000. That’s what masters do.

So how about you? Do you have conflict in a relationship? If so, handle it like a true master. Embrace this conflict as growth trying to happen, discover what you need to learn, and surrender your frustration as best as you can. Then you will be ready to reach out to repair your relationship. Stay focused on your love in the present, not the mistakes of the past. You will be amazed at how much healing you have waiting for you.