Relationships are everything. I have come to understand that people who are flourishing have one thing in common: they have healthy relationships. People who live free and passionate know how to connect with people and live from their deepest Self. But there is a problem…
Relationships are difficult. Unfortunately, people (all of them, including ourselves) are maddeningly frustrating. Creating relationships that are satisfying and passionate requires awareness, skillfulness and wisdom. Very often getting the relationships we really want requires some therapeutic coaching. This is what I do.
My foundation is Dr. Harville Hendrix’ Imago Relationship Therapy. Dr. Hendrix sparked a revolution in couple’s work, pointing people to the sacred space between partners. As people learn to appreciate, understand, and honor the space between them, then relationships explode with life, offering personal awakening, transformation and a taste of the ecstasy of deeper connection.
I also had the privilege of training directly with Dr. Stan Tatkin, founder of the Psychobiological Approach to Couple’s Therapy (PACT). Learning directly from these two master therapists and hundreds of couples has led me to the conclusion that healthy relationships flow from three key skills. I help people grow in these three areas:
I can help you to embrace vulnerability with boundaries: If we want to forge human connection then we need to authentically show up as we are, good and bad, glorious and wounded. We need to embrace our brokenness, our limits, and our need for others. When we do this we invite others into relationship. This is not easy. It requires awareness (what am I feeling, anyway?), skill (what is the best way to share this?) and wisdom (with whom and when should I share it?).
I can train you to become relentlessly positive: What we see is 80% behind our eyeballs; we tend to see whatever we think we are going to see. Unfortunately our brains are much better at finding threats and disappointments than gifts and blessings. Masters of relationship have learned to create a positive focus wherever they go
I will help you to learn and honor the mystery of the other. Masters of relationship study the people they care about with curiosity, then learn how to love them on the other’s terms and in their language. This completes the three-fold art of authentic loving.
My work as a therapist is experiential (as compared with educational). People who work with me should expect to have novel and surprising experiences. True, long-lasting and authentic change occurs not just in our minds, but in our bodies and hearts as well.
I look forward to working with you!